Relationships

Blame your best friends if you’re SINGLE.

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Okay, look. You’re single. Probably single as fuck, at that. & you probably make it known to the world on every social network. Now, if you would stop looking for someone to call bae, you can figure out why I’m so content with being single while you’re tweeting “I don’t want a relationship, I just want *insert something that you only get when you’re in a relationship here*”. Learn how to be in a healthy relationship by spending time with your friends. Friendship is vital in the baeless world. If you always FEEL baeless, GET NEW FRIENDS. Even as a guy. You should be out with your friends enjoying life. Your female friends should be telling you how they’re proud of you, going to bars with you, giving you occasional “it’s time to let them go” talks when needed, etc. I buy stuff for my friends, walk out of work when they need me (Like really need me, otherwise stop playing with my money). I send them random “I love you” “have a good day” “*motivational speech*” texts etc. They’re my boyfriends, even the girls. They take me on dates, surprise me with flowers at work, send me “be ready at 7” texts to take me out to eat. They motivate me, protect me, check me when I’m fucking up, travel with me, etc. They even ask me if I need anything when they’re out grocery shopping. People forget that friendships are about love just as much as, if not more than, relationships are. People that are always down or sounding desperate on social networks don’t know what it’s like to be loved by a real friend. They don’t hear, “get up, we going out” when they’re moping. If they did, they wouldn’t have time to be stalking their ex’s tweets. Yes ladies, stalking from your friends’ account counts. She probably don’t even know you following that nigga from her page now because you told her you was done after the first time but *sips tea*

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Healthy friendships show you how a healthy relationship should be, emphasis on healthy. If you’re reading this but you’re in a relationship, cool but if it’s not healthy blame your right hand and your day ones. They didn’t teach you shit. You should be able to joke, be honest, and vent to your friends without attacking you guys’ bond. They shouldn’t feel threatened, bullied, intimidated, etc. It should just be, “man, I know you just looking out. Damn you could’ve said that shit a lil nicer though ugly ass.” & y’all move on from it. It’s so funny when I’m drunk & my friends put on their fake stern voice and be like, “Candice. No.” and give me a look like Im their child. lol, I listen though. Even though they don’t want me embarrassing them, I know they’re protecting me also. I get a lot of those when I’m drinking Patron but that’s for another day. Anyway… If you’re stepping on eggshells with every word or move, fuck it. You can’t even be yourself bro. Where’s the fun in that? I joke a lot & if I feel like I can’t say, “sit your bean head ass down somewhere” in a relationship without my boyfriend feeling a certain way? I dont want him. Plot twist: your friends should have made your skin tough enough as well to receive the jokes and criticism once you get a boo. That victim shit or “Ima say something that’s ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKING MEAN since you wanna play” is probably the REAL reason you’re single & you just reading this because it gives you permission to blame someone else. 😴

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As you can see this is a 2 year old screenshot I found on my IG. So that means my friends been holding it down for a little while now, huh? Idk about y’all, but being the reason my friend is smiling like a toothless baby makes me the happiest. Giving in a friendship while you’re single teaches you to stop being so damn stingy! It’s not all about you. It teaches you appreciation & selflessness. HUGE factors in a relationship. You’re not the only one that wants something without having to buy it. You’re not the only one that wants to know someone was peeping what you was looking at in the store that day. It doesn’t have to only be on birthdays & holidays. Your friend had a rough week? Take the tab this time. She still crying over her ex? Introduce her to your rapper friend so she can spend more time taking “in the studio” IG pics instead of love quotes with “Me, Myself, and I” lyrics as the caption.

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“We both been soooo busy this week. I miss you. Let’s go drink!” It’s really that simple. It teaches you to still have a life outside of your relationship and actually give each other time to miss each other so you can have catch up drinks sex. & if y’all not busy, someone’s being unproductive. We’re too young to not be busy. Too much shit to get in order. I’m not trying to text you all day. I’ll send you a good morning nude & talk to you right before I go to sleep. We are not married. You’re not THAT much of my life, yet. Catching up in friendships will teach you how to keep your individuality once you get a boo. You’ll probably gain some listening skills too because Lord knows when those drinks get to flowing, feelings get to pouring. lololol

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TRAVEL. Omg! Nothing makes people closer than creating memories in places away from home. Travel with your friends. Choose a random place and go explore for the first time together. 1: you really get to know a person when money is involved. 2: It’ll teach you to be adventurous, open minded and fun in a relationship. Also, you’ll learn how to be patient because nothing reveals a person more than being out of their element & you gotta deal with that shit until y’all get home. Above are pictures of Dominican Republic, Greece & Thailand – all places my friends and I have discussed and are planning to go to soon. This will teach you to broaden your horizons in a relationship. You’re not gonna settle for state trips all the time, you’re gonna be like, “babe, I’ve been to fucking Thailand. Do it look like I wanna go to New Jersey?” & no this doesn’t make you bourgeois, it makes you cultured & basic-free. You don’t have to have a lot of money, just gotta be really good at saving. 😎

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Everyone in your circle should be on the same page with similar goals. If you don’t have friends that send you random bible scriptures, motivational,  “I’m proud of you” “I love you” texts, explain to me how you’ve been making it through this life shit. Do you not expect a significant other that motivates you? When you say, “babe, on some real shit. Im about to give up” & all they say is, “Damn.” Don’t try to punch them in the back of the head just because you were expecting a different answer, it’s your fault! You either didn’t find someone that was as great as your friends or you just didnt have great friends that taught you that being equally yoked is a part of a healthy relationship. My friends can be a little ratchet so of course I got the, “let’s get to this money” text but motivation nonetheless. 💰💸

Candictionary: Being equally yoked basically means we’re able to go in the same direction because we’re on the same page spiritually, mentally, etc.

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SLAY TOGETHER. I don’t need you to compliment me, I need you to complement me. Personally, I like guys that don’t make me nervous on my birthday & holidays. Like I know you gonna hold it down when you out shopping, I don’t have to send one of my friends with you. My friends REALLY have a thing for looking nice so of course I look for the same thing in my significant other. I know a lot of guys think it’s “gay” to care about looks but if you’re reading this and you want a gf who blogs (me), please understand that you’re not my type if you think it’s gay to look good. Some days I just wanna stare at you looking like the emoji with heart eyes cause you look damn good. I can’t do that to a nigga in some bullshit and some “what are those.” Style just tells me you’re confident. I’m confident, my friends are confident so got dammit I need my nigga to be confident. Borderline cocky but I won’t push it. Shit, I’m pretty cold myself, might I add. 😍 *dread flip*  & I require what I offer.

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Lmaooooo…have fun together, take lots of pictures, and create memories. 💃

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Okay. So let’s end this with some real shit. Everything is not about to be peaches, cream and Jack Daniels. SHIT WILL GET REAL. I don’t know what these non-fighting bitches in the picture are doing but there will be times when you cause more damage with words than you could ever cause physically. I remember my ex told me he rather I put hands on him than say the shit I say. Of course I was thinking, “shut up cause if I get my hands on you Im going to jail.” However, when I calmed down I had to realize I couldn’t take my words back. People are gonna replay what you said over and over & it’s gonna hurt the same over and over. They can keep replaying get punched in the mouth but it’s not gonna keep hurting. Of course, I wouldnt fight my friends. If I ever have to fight my friends they had to be hating on the low & none of my babies no haters. lol but arguing with your friends or simply telling them about themselves is a good thing! It means no one is afraid to express how they feel & they’re comfortable enough to be real and/or vulnerable with you. This is sooo important in a relationship. You can’t bite your tongue or turn the other way to avoid confrontation all the time. Confrontation is gonna either make or break the relationship. Embrace those, “what the fuck evers,” “idgaf’s,” and those, “that’s how your bald head ass feel?” then figure out how to solve it without the shit they’re doing in the pic or the tongue wrestling. So when you get a boo your first response wont always be violent or verbally abusive.  👫💕

Basically I wrote this to show you how friendships are like practice relationships. All of your friends should bring different things to the table; everyone wont do everything. However, once you’re in a relationship, that one person should be doing everything all of your friends do for you + more. If your circle is great you won’t settle for anything less than being treated right; only the desperate settle. So when it comes to my love life my standard is: you treat me better or I stay single.

I know I’m ramblingggggg! but healthy friendships prevent you from settling for the first person that tells you they like you. You’re not gonna jump at the first sign of a relationship because you’re already getting everything that comes with one. All you need is someone with a cool little sex game that treats you the same.

& as I’m typing this Tyrone sends me movie times for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes for tonight. 💙👑

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Here’s a selfie from us… us-fie? whatever.

Thanks for reading! Do you agree? email comments to candicemccoy420@yahoo.com

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