The very thing that makes us human is our ability to experience emotions. The pain we feel in our hearts when we’re sad, the stone-like feel in our throats, the tremble of our lips, the hollow feel in our spirits, the adrenaline from anger, the butterflies when we’re nervous, etc. They’re all reminders that we’re human. Humans that FEEL. Humans that are supposed to be intelligent enough to control emotions without suppressing them. Humans that should be able to be wholeheartedly vulnerable because that is the most important gift that comes with being a person.
You have a heart. Use it. Why is this generation so damn scared to be aware? Be aware of those that genuinely love you. Be aware of those you genuinely love. Be aware of those that are hurting you. Be aware of those you are hurting. Be aware of people you should get rid of. Be aware of those you should hold on to. We’ve all been hurt. BUT DID YOU DIE DOE? No. Learn from your mistakes and fall just as hard the second time around. Go just as hard the second time. Most people think that’s stupid. I think it shows your strength. You didn’t let anyone rob you of your warmth. Your compassion. Your empathy. You didn’t let anyone make you less human. To have a big heart in such a cold world is something to put on a resumé, shit. That takes courage, confidence and power all wrapped up in one. When someone tells me they’re “numb and heartless” all I hear is, “I’m weak as fuck and would rather be a turtle or some shit.”
What the fuck is up with people and this power thing they have? It’s almost as if they get off on having power over your emotions because they lack their own. Either most people in this generation weren’t born with an empathetic bone in their body or they broke it learning how to ride a bike when they were little. They rather toy with feelings than understand where the feelings came from or at least TRY to identify with them. You leave, they chase you. You ignore their calls they keep calling. You say you’re done, they suddenly love the shit out of you. You find someone new, all of a sudden you were never loyal in the first place. But none of the feelings they show when they’re about to lose you is from a genuine place. It’s from them being nervous that they may no longer have you in the palm of their hands. They start getting nervous at the thought of no longer having someone in their corner that actually gives a fuck about them. They get nervous that you might actually find someone that deserve you. Power is someone only being good to you when they’re about to lose you. Power is when someone successfully sends you left and all of a sudden you have no idea where you stand. Power is when your friend still brings up what they did for you to make you feel bad for complaining how they’ve changed so you convince yourself that it’s not serious enough to end the friendship. Power is a business, not a key to a relationship. Those with the power say whatever they need to say to convince their customer that their product is still the best out even when they no longer feel the need to make it that way. I don’t need power over you, my self-esteem is high enough to love without fear that you won’t love me back. If you focused more on loving someone rather than trying to control their heart and mind, you’ll find that you dont even need power.
I’m naturally a passionate, sometimes sensitive, person that seeks to understand then aim to fix. Im the one that asks, “what happened to her to make her want to fuck 90 people?” instead of dismissing her and labeling her as a whore. I’m the one that wonders if you love yourself then try to help you get there. I’m the one that argues with you today and run to your rescue tomorrow. Im a receptor of all of the energy around me. I FEEL everything. I feel when someone is happy. I feel when someone is sad. I read eyes. I read body language. I read tones. I’m an open book. I’m exposed. I wear my wounds. I wear my scars. I wear my emotions. I never fall out of love. I cry for no reason. I’m quiet when I should be crying. I overflow with emotions and I’m not ashamed of any of that. I’m constantly reminded that I still have a heart in a generation that believes not giving a fuck is the coolest shit since white bread. I’m constantly reminded that I’m not a robot. I’m constantly reminded that I love hard. I’m constantly reminded that my heart is pure. My heart is beating. My heart is big. I attract broken people. People that are damaged. People that need saving. People that need guidance. I’m the light that shines in people’s darkness. I’m the angel in people’s hell. That’s me choosing to be human though. Choosing to use the emotions, the feelings, the heart that God gave me. That’s me choosing to care.
Fun fact about the blogger: I don’t require a damn thing I do not offer. I’ve said that in a previous post but that is with any and everything. I’m not going to require you to give a fuck if I’m not offering my own fucks to give. I’m not going to require you to care if I don’t. You have to learn when to do stuff and when not to do stuff. You’re not supposed to give a fuck when someone is trying to bring you down. You’re not supposed to give a fuck when someone that doesn’t make you happy anyway tells you they’re walking out of your life. You’re not supposed to give a fuck about anything that’s not making you better or happier. Other things? Give a fuck as hard as you can! You all have been doing things backwards. You CARE that she was talking shit about your hair. You CARE that he thinks your music is ass. But you DONT care that she loves you. You DONT care that you have no clue where your life is heading. Life does not last forever. You really love that girl but you think it’s so cool not to care about anyone. She died in a car accident, now you feel like shit. You really love that guy but you think it’s so cool not to care about anyone. He got engaged, now you feel like shit. Your best friend of 5 years is mad about something you did, you know you’re wrong but you think it’s so cool not to care about shit, now the friendship is over. Stop forgetting what it means to be human. Humans care. Humans have weaknesses. Humans have soft spots. Stop forcing yourself to be everything but a normal fucking person.
I wrote this to grant you permission to be a human being. Embrace your feelings and the feelings around you. Run towards love. Have a big heart. FEEL. Be aware of your feelings and the feelings around you. Have compassion. Be a healer. Love someone hard enough that it heals them. Wear your emotions. Invest in good energy. Good vibes. Surround yourself with people that ask questions before they judge. Embrace vulnerability. People don’t realize that having a wall up not only blocks out the bad but it also blocks out any good coming your way. Having a wall up protects you from the devils but from the angels also. Take a risk. Be aware of those that love you. You owe them your heart. You owe it to them to be genuine. You owe it to them to be loved back because it took courage to love you. No one loves anyone that didn’t give them a REASON to. & if you don’t love them, you should make it known and stop playing with the power you have over them. Why do you hate yourself so much that you find it amusing that someone cares about you? That it becomes a game of “how long can they stick around?” Learn to control your emotions without suppressing them. Don’t be everything but human. You could’ve been a worm mf.