Most guys understand this. They understand that you don’t get a cookie, gold medal, or a trophy for staying no matter what. Most girls…eh, not so much. Because relationships mean so much to a lot of women, failed relationships can mean just as much. No one wants to “fail” or be the girl that “can’t keep a man” or be the guy that’s always getting played by the same women other niggas play. It’s embarrassing, and because embarrassed is the last thing ANYONE wants to feel, pride and ego tag team to keep you in a situation that’s no more than just that…
some bullshit, a situation.
Understand how vital hope is to the human race. Hope is why we have religion, believe in a higher power, pray everyday, think positive, have faith in things we cannot presently see, etc. Hope can be dangerous if you don’t know the difference between “it is what it is” & “if you go through this, this’ll be waiting for you at the end.” Very rarely do people EVER stop trying & accept that “it is what it is.” ANY OUNCE OF HOPE IS BETTER THAN A SHITLOAD OF REASONS TO LET THE FUCK GO. I remember when everyone first heard of Ray Rice beating his wife & the hashtag #whyistayed started on Twitter. The top three reasons were because of empty promises to change, not wanting to feel defeated, & the image that was painted in people’s mind that gave them something to look forward to. As you can see, all of these reasons aren’t present things – they’re all things that require looking past what’s in front of you. You didn’t know it was an empty promise until you were told to keep looking forward to it. You cant feel defeated until you’re forced to throw in the towel. & lastly, you don’t know that image in your head will never happen until you’re tired of waiting for it to happen.
Don’t get me wrong; there is absolutely nothing wrong with having faith & thinking positively. However, for some odd reason, people will have faith in someone that haven’t given them a reason to believe in them. She broke up with you to go back to her ex that cheats on her yet you have faith that one day, just one day, yall gonna get it together because she still respond to your texts sometimes. He had a new gf faster than he could hang up after telling you he can’t do it anymore…but you tell yourself to think positive everyday & believe that he’s the right person but it’s just not the right time yet. Y’all are starting to argue frequently but baé still don’t entertain other people, & still consistent with date night. You even noticed that they been working on they communication skills – that would be a reason to have hope; doesn’t automatically mean you shouldn’t let go but I would understand why you still believe in the relationship. But let’s say you’re not the delusional one who holds on to hope in one hand & your belly in another because you thought trapping him was gonna make him get it together. Let’s say you actually know your relationship is a joke & you know everyone is laughing but you’re still there. This is when pride & ego tagged team & made you MVP in the game of staying down – literally. You’re afraid to look like you lost. You’re afraid to have to go back to tweeting about the single life. You’re afraid to let someone else have everything you’ve invested in your partner. You don’t want to go back to paying a bill for a phone that never fucking rings. I get it.
People fail to realize that your pride, ego, & faith in things that you should have given up on will have you down in every sense of the word EXCEPT ride or die. You doing bad, feeling bad, looking bad because you believe in more fairytale shit than Timmy. You riding for someone that you painted in your head. Awkward. No one actually gets teased for being single, here’s a secret: most people either don’t give a fuck about your love life or they’re wishing their relationship grass was as green as your single life grass. Your pride stems from the opinions of other people. Take time to be so content in your aloneness that when you notice someone is full of shit, you won’t still decide to keep them around just because you’re “tired of being single.” The company of yourself, wine & Netflix will mean more to you than someone that’s not for you. The faster you learn that aloneness is a test that everyone has to take & pass in order to have a successful relationship, the faster you can breakup with pornhub & stop texting people from your past because you’re lonely. Here’s another secret: people want you more when they know you don’t need them, but people also know when you’re ACTING.
Maybe a few “damn you dumb’s” or Resentment by Bey on repeat but no awards & certificates. Someone for you is never going to make you rely on what could be more than you can rely on what is.