Self-Love

Admit It, You’re Easy.

impressed

He texts you good morning every morning faithfully; no one has ever been that consistent with you. She listens to your problems whenever you need to vent; no one has ever been that attentive. He asks you how your day was, what did you eat today; no one has ever been so concerned. You’re impressed. You’re in awe. They have completely outshined their competition and you’ve put all of your eggs in his basket. In her basket. I mean, you figure it’s worth it because they’re “different.” Right? Wrong. Because you don’t realize that that’s what they’re SUPPOSED to be doing if they want to be apart of your world. Granted, everyone else weren’t doing what they were supposed to be doing but you’re getting excited about the basics. You’re getting excited about the bare minimum. You made him your only because he’s consistent? You made her your only because she shows concern? You ever asked yourself WHY you like someone but felt like an idiot because you really can’t come up with a solid answer. Problem is: you genuinely do not know because it was nothing for the person you like to do some basic shit and have you looking goofy like the picture below. You was sold on the nice smile, nice car, the money, or the possible new project you get to have instead of figuring out what you REALLY like about them; you was EASY. Easily swept away by all the irrelevant stuff. Grandma is not gonna give a damn she has a nice smile and her own money when your girl get disrespectful calling her all kinds of old hoes, now is she?

flattered

“He took me out to eat.” “Where did y’all go?” “Applebee’s.” & now you’re feeling like this nigga is asking you if the glass slipper fits? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking Applebee’s if that’s all he could afford at the time and you just wanted some good ole QT but I AM knocking the fact that you think that’s something to put him on a pedestal for. I AM knocking the fact that you think you’re worth a 2 for $20 and he still made you put in your $10 but since he drove you considered it a real date. I AM knocking the fact that you subconsciously think that’s the best you can do. Don’t be so easily impressed to the point where he thinks he doesn’t have to strive further to keep you around. Guys KNOW when they have to come at a female correctly to even get entertained or else they’ll be embarrassed. Guys KNOW when they don’t have to do shit but the bare minimum to keep your attention. 

Funny thing about guys is that there’s never an in between with them; guys are either TOO easily impressed or rarely ever impressed. Your ass is impressive? They’re impressed. You have big breasts but they sit up, they’re impressed. Every time they see you, you dress your ass off and your nails stay done? They’re impressed. You’re pretty as hell with only 1 body from 2 years ago? They’re impressed. Then there’s the guys who’ve seen it all and done it all. Nothing surprises them and nothing wows them but that’s for another post.

first-date

There’s always two types of girls too. There are the girls who knew damn well she didn’t want Applebee’s. Knew damn well the date was a joke and knew damn well she wasn’t telling her girls shit about the date because they were gonna look at her basic ass like “do betttttter.” But she didn’t want to come off as a stuck up bitch so she texted him back, “we can do that” and he was there the next two hours. He was talking and she was just rolling her eyes the entire date. He was a “broke ass nigga” about 20 times in her head and she probably blocked his number before the food even came out. In my opinion, it’s worse to be “fake” flattered than actually flattered. YOU KNEW BETTER. You had choices; you could’ve told him what you wanted or you could’ve told him to come back when his shit was together or you could’ve told him you’re not interested. The actually flattered girl didn’t have choices; she thought the sizzling plate at Applebee’s was the closest she’ll ever get to HibachiGuys aren’t dumb but they will play dumb if you play dumb. & acting like you’re okay with the bare minimum is playing dumb. You know what you want. Why is it so hard for you to spit it out when he asks you what you want to do? You know what you deserve. You know you would’ve told an ugly nigga to get his shit together. You know you would’ve told someone you wasn’t feeling to take you to the place you REALLY wanted to go. Sometimes you have to be a “stuck-up bitch” to make sure you don’t end up with the short end of the stick and that’s just the reality of it. You have to stay true to your standards. No matter how nice the car is. No matter how fly his clothes are. No matter how much he turns you on by intellectual convo alone – stay true to your standards. If your standards for a date are:

  1. Give you a time to be ready
  2. Pick you up
  3. Open doors
  4. Pay

then that shouldn’t change just because he’s the MVP on your team right now. It shouldn’t be, “damn he fine as hell, I’m not even gonna press the opening doors thing.” Every player gonna have his off day, that’s why they have subs. Until he’s won he need to be doing all kinds of shit to outshine his competition. If this mentality makes you feel like you’re “doing too much” then you’re admitting you don’t have anything special to offer nor work for. 

flattered postPeople wonder why they can’t make it past the 3-month honeymoon phase. It’s because after the too-many-emojis-and-I-love-you’s-after-every-2-texts-phase,  you’re going to either start demanding what you wanted in the first place or you’re going to start demanding more period. Your baé is going to be so confused: “you was fine with Applebee’s and Steak N Shake when we first started kicking it. Now all of a sudden you better than that? Foh.” He’s going to tell you to stop watching Love & Hip Hop and sit your ass down somewhere & honestly, I wouldn’t take you seriously either because you should’ve had balls in the beginning to speak on what you wanted instead of settling. I wasn’t always the headstrong, confident, independent, I rather watch pornhub than give this nigga some, woman. I used to be easily impressed. I didn’t know I deserve every fucking thing I’d ever want at first. I used to think Applebee’s for a first date was ok too. Shit, I used to think chilling at your crib watching Netflix was ok. If we aren’t together and haven’t been together for quite some time…it’s not okay; you’re still in the game baby, you’re still trying to impress me. You can & will be replaced Just like I know you’d be replacing my ass too the moment I stopped wowing you before you even made me your girl. But girls are so quick to put guys on a pedestal when they do ONE thing semi-correctly that guys already know they’re not being replaced anytime soon. Some girls act like there’s a shortage on niggas. All you have to do, literally, is leave your house. BOOM. There’s a guy across the street. Get him. Go to the grocery store. BOOM. A guy in the dairy section. Get him. Go to the gas station. BOOM. A guy with a nice car. Get him. Jeez. & to think, you missed all these niggas because you was too busy being fake flattered at Applebee’s with a guy that turned you off 3 days ago anyway. BUTYOUGOTADATETHO, huh?

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Thanks for reading! email me: candicemccoy420@yahoo.com

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4 Comment

  1. Reply
    NeoshaGEE
    March 7, 2015 at 2:31 am

    EVERYTHING about this post! lol… i can admit I ise to be that girl some years ago. Naive and didn’t know any better. Nowadays I have NO chill for the bs and cutie pie antics.

    XO NEOSHAGEE/ http://www.itsratedngee.com

    1. Reply
      candicemccoy420
      June 12, 2015 at 1:34 am

      Girl, we’ve all been there! As long as we don’t STAY there. Thanks for reading!

  2. Reply
    P.; Garrett
    August 11, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    Thanks for writing this. It made me realize some things about myself! I agree that sometimes we get blinded by these little things that we forget the big picture. But I also feel like these little things such as the good morning texts, and applebee’s date goes along with the dating culture we are in now. Some of us can’t even clearly explain what dating is so we get excited over little things like this thinking this is the standard.

    1. Reply
      candicemccoy420
      August 11, 2016 at 3:30 pm

      I agree 100%. The expectations are lower because the rules of dating have become super complicated.

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