Self-Love

No One Likes a Good Girlfriend

I’m sure we’ve all heard, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Our grandparents told our parents and our parents relayed the message and we’ve probably even passed it on to our friends once upon a time. The point is, we’re no stranger to the saying. The problem is, we act like it. If you remember my post “Men Know How To Love, Women Don’t” then you remember reading about the fact that guys love in moderation. I even shared that they make us prove ourselves first before they even think about giving out their most vital organ…their hearts. Girls on the other hand still seem to think that proving themselves instead of being proven is the best way to go. I blatantly said, in so many words, that girls don’t know what the fuck they’re doing in the game of love and that guys are blowing us out. 100-zip. Dunking all in our face and doing victory dances. I’m no sports guru but I know the difference between losing and winning. No one ever said the cow isn’t worthy because its milk is free. Reality check, nobody really wants the fucking cow. We want what the cow has to offer. But what I’m saying is, if the cow knew how much it was worth, it wouldn’t be letting just anyone pull at its udders, but because it doesn’t – everyone gets the free milk. Does that remind you of anyone? Stop acting like cows, ladies. Like Fab would say, “let these niggas know your worth, aint no discounts.”

FullSizeRender-7As women, it’s just in our veins to be nurturing and be caring and yadda yadda yadda. What’s NOT in our veins is to just lay all the shit out on the table before we even know for sure if he wants his own seat. But in hopes that eventually he’ll sit down, we play house. He’s standing up and you’re going all around him being a housewife. “Excuse me, watch your feet. I’m sweeping.” “Can you take a step back some? I missed a spot.” “After this, I’ll get to the dishes.” “You need water while you’re standing?” You’re literally running around YOUR house like a chicken with its head cut off and he hasn’t taken one step towards your table, except to move out of the way to let you prove yourself. You’re doing all this just to finally look up and realize he’s invited another woman in and even had the nerve to ask if you’re about to stay or go. Granted, all of this is a metaphor but sometimes this is more than a metaphor for a lot of women; this is literally how their love life goes.

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I used to listen to these stories and be like, “yeah, he’s not shit. fuck him.” BUT, honestly. When did you ever make time for him to prove himself to you? When did you demand it? He didn’t even demand it from YOU, you just willingly dived head first to show him you was “down.” Did you honestly think holding out on sex was making him prove himself? EL-OH-EL. When did you ever stop playing housewife to a nigga that hasn’t even made you his girl yet to see if that was even what he wanted? You didn’t. You liked him and he told you some shit like “let’s just see where it goes. I don’t want to rush anything” or “I can see myself being with you. you cool but I still need time.” and you took that as, “this is my time to prove he doesn’t need anyone else” instead of taking it as, “time to add more players to the roster.” I hate to say it, but love is a game. It really is. At least at the beginning or until everyone has proven themselves. & the same rules apply every time: if you’re the only one proving yourself or putting in effort then you’re the one losing. Even the most aint shit guy in the world is going to think he deserves for you to jump through hoops for his “love.” The only thing niggas hand out is penis; everything else? they make you work for. Most girls hand everything out BUT vagina and that’s so sleep emoji to guys because if you not giving yours up, they’re getting it from another girl who’s deep in the whole “prove yourself” thing. So now not only are you a good gf without him asking you to be but the last thing you had to offer him is something literally every girl has. Yikes.

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You can take your cape off Super Girlfriend because you’re single. You’re a great woman, a great cook, and you know how to separate the colors from the whites so that his whites doesn’t come out ruined. You know how to encourage, inspire, and motivate. You pray for him. You make his appointments. You remind him about the things on his to-do lists. Shit, you make the to-do lists. You send him nudes while he’s at work and you ride dick like you was a pornstar in your past life. The problem isn’t that you’re a good girlfriend and “guys don’t appreciate the good girls,” the problem is you’re always quick to sell yourself then get mad when he puts you back on the shelf and gets the one next to you because all he had to do was press the “try me” button and you sung every song you had. You’re a good girlfriend but no one likes a good GIRLFRIEND when their “low-key bae” acts just like a gf and doesn’t demand anything in return, except for space when she’s trying to sweep. I thought we were out of this phase but as I was reading my TL on Twitter and reading long captions on IG I said to myself, “time to make a blog post because my girls out here still getting embarrassed.” so here we are.


Thanks for reading!

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2 Comment

  1. Reply
    Shanae
    June 10, 2015 at 2:53 am

    Preach! I’ve been that girl once and it’s a waste of time. Thanks for writing this!

    1. Reply
      candicemccoy420
      June 12, 2015 at 1:37 am

      A HUGE waste of time. The only reason I’m even able to write about this is because I’ve also been there. Thank you for reading!

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