I know. Being single is an emotional roller coaster. One minute you’re happy that you have options, not tied down, learning more about yourself then the next minute you want to belong to someone, be in love, make love, etc. Whenever you feel like the latter you have to remember that if you were ready for a relationship you would be in one.
There’s no maybe’s, no what if’s, or doubts. Love doesn’t come easily though. It’s more of a trade-off. God is like, “you do this for yourself & I’ll give you someone in return. But you HAVE to do this for you & only you first.” A lot of people skip that part because they’re anxious and they confuse it with being ready. If you crave a relationship but you’re not content with being alone, you’re not ready. You’re anxious. If you have no clue what you really what in the opposite sex, you just know you want a relationship, you’re not ready. You’re anxious. If you feel like something is wrong with you because you’ve been single forever, you’re not ready you’re anxious. You’re so anxious that you’ve created a cycle. You meet someone, you like them. You think about you all’s future in the first 6 days then you try to make the image you’ve created a reality, it doesn’t work out as planned now you’re tweeting, “relationships aren’t for me.” Well duh,
It seems so simple to be like, “we like each other, let’s get into a relationship.” When there’s so much you have to do on your part alone to even make sure that relationship is successful. You have to be able to stand on your own. You have to know how to be independent. You have to know how to get your own money. Accomplish your own goals. Explore the world on your own. Learn what you want out of life, etc. & the crazy part is all of this must be in place before you even meet the person God is trying to send you. When you’re so wrapped in you, you won’t even notice that God is about to send you someone. No one likes to surprise nosey muhfuckas. It ruins everything. Surprises are better when you had NO CLUE it was on its way. It’ll be the right time. It’ll be the right person but you must first do your part & stop being so damn thirsty to be loved. Granted, there are people who are like me who would much rather be in love than have a phone full of hoes. Who would much rather be building with one person than going on dates getting to know more than one person. But I also know I can’t be great for anyone if I’m not great without someone. The more you do for yourself, the higher you can raise your standards. If you’re not doing shit, you honestly have no right demanding anything. When I bought my BMW on my own at 20 years old, there was no way a guy walking was about to get entertained. When I was walking maybe I would’ve let it slide, but of course I’m upping my standards now & if it makes you uncomfortable then you’re not supposed to be my man.
You’ll know when you’re READY for a relationship because it’ll be the second to last thing on your mind. (Honestly, it’ll probably never be the last. Let’s no overdo it lol) You’ll have so much going on, your success will intimidate people but someone who’ve been just as busy will peep you and they will gravitate towards you during your transition & he/she will be the one that you PREPARED for rather than WAITED for. How do you prepare for them? simple. When someone ask you what you do for fun do you have an answer or is it, “I mean, I like to shop and read.” Nothing is exciting about that. Go make a real life so you can form a real answer. Do you know how to engage in DEEP conversation or is your mind filled with Love and Hip Hop and Scandal?
When someone ask you WHY you’re studying/studied your major in college, do you have an answer or have you chosen money over passion? Oh wait, you don’t believe everyone has to go to school to be successful? I agree, but what’s your alternative? Sitting on your ass downing all the college kids or did you REALLY choose your dream over school? Figure out your purpose. Do you like your weight? No? But when’s the last time you been in someone’s gym? You can’t remember? When’s the last time you been out of the state? out of the country? Cant afford it? Take a road trip. Can’t afford that? Well that leads me to my next question, why are you grown as hell and don’t know how to save and budget? You don’t think that’ll be beneficial in a relationship? One thing I’ve noticed, the only difference between men and women is the W and the O; men and women are VERY VERY much alike, we just approach things differently. Just like women don’t want a broke boy. Men don’t want a leech. Just like women don’t want someone who’s uneducated, men don’t want a bimbo. Kill two birds with one stone by finding things about yourself that need work because this will also prepare you for your next relationship – not only will you be a better person individually but you’ll also be a better catch. You’ll also be able to up your standards and demand more. Don’t be so anxious to jump in a relationship when you KNOW your shit is nowhere near together because guess who you’re gonna attract? No, not someone that can you make you better but someone whose shit is 10x’s worse than yours.
Thanks for reading!