There’s one saying that I try my hardest to remember once I’ve fallen for a guy:
I remember when this picture hit social media and everyone clowned anyone that agreed but the only titles a bond is better than are “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” Think about it. God never said, “He who finds a girlfriend, finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” He made it clear that he who finds a WIFE receives the favor. In other words, you making Tiana your girlfriend didn’t even make God budge. It either made him slap his forehead and shake his head because you didn’t wait for the one He made for you or it made Him happy that you were at least on the right track; now, He’s just hoping that you don’t ruin it by taking all of steps that He never ordered. People praise gf/bf titles but I’m one of the (apparently very rare) ones who know the difference in the significance of being a girlfriend and being a wife. For that reason? If I had to choose, I’d rather have a very real connection and a very real bond that allows me to be completely naked with a man emotionally and mentally. Having the title of being his girlfriend but feeling the need to cheat emotionally because I still feel completely clothed in my relationship? I’d rather not.
“We got a title that no one can come between.” – said no one ever.
No, I’m not saying your relationship isn’t real or a waste of time just because you aren’t married. What I am saying is: ask yourself if you see your relationship ever being headed that way. You’ve been with him for how long? Even gave him a kid? Yet the same girl keeps popping up? Maybe it’s because you have the title but she has the bond. You’ve been with her for how long? Living together for how long? But you still can’t picture her with your last name? People would save so much time if they’d stop praising titles that God never even mentioned. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with him or how many bills he’s paid because he still has done nothing for you but give you a title that tells other guys that they have to check you off their “hit” list because they won’t be hitting any time soon.
As a person who cannot stay stagnant, I’m borderline obsessed with progress. I need to know that I haven’t wasted my youth, put miles on my vagina, cooked my best meals, played house better than two 6 year olds, or brought out the king in you just to still be your girlfriend on your niece’s 8th birthday when she was born the day after you introduced me to your family. There’s a reason you’re still just the girlfriend after 8 years to the same nigga you been doing shit for that equate to finding the cure for cancer. A title with no bond is worse than a bond with no title because it shows nothing more than ownership.
Girls are quick to be like, “well, I only been fucking with mine for 5 years so she’s not talking about me. She talking about you, Keisha.” Whether you’ve been in a relationship for 3 years or 8, you know if the relationship is still worth it. It doesn’t take 8 years for you to realize you guys might not make it down the aisle one day. We’re at the age now that the person you’re with can very much so be the person you’re with for the rest of your life. Relationships are no longer about breaking up to make up, acting jealous, taking cute pictures, and
spoiling each other, ok scratch that last part because that’s always going to be apart of my relationship but you get what I mean. Stop wasting each other’s time and find someone who you connect with so you can give them the title that actually matter. Say a title is better than a bond when you’re someone’s wife or someone’s husband. Not when you’re with someone who you don’t even call on lunch break because you share a bond with someone else.
Thanks for reading! “Bloggers are the New Unsigned Artists” coming Sunday (7.19)