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6 Struggles Of Letting Someone Into Your Life After Years Of Being Single – Review

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People will always tell you that being single is a good thing because it gives you time to “focus on yourself” or to “become a better person.” What they don’t tell you is how easy it is to become so focused on yourself that you no longer know how to focus on anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, I love being single. I’ve been waking up and choosing to live this life every day for a few days short of a year now. However, I’m starting to think Jennifer was talking about me in her post on Elite Daily. According to her, you might be too used to the single life if any of the following applies to you:

  1. When you prefer to sleep alone.
  2. When it starts to bother you that he pays for everything.
  3. When you aren’t really happy about sharing your plans.
  4. When you’re annoyed that he leaves his stuff at your place.
  5. When you enjoy your alone time more than being with him.
  6. When you find it really hard to confide after a bad day.

And guess what? 5 out of 6 of these apply to me! It hasn’t even been a full year yet and I’ve already gotten too comfortable with being by myself. A few weeks ago, a man called me “too independent” and ever since, I’ve been wondering if that’s why this is the longest I’ve ever been alone. Between the time I graduated and now, I have become the epitome of an independent woman. If you tell me no then I just go get it on my own. If you take too long to give me an answer then I’ve already come up with a plan to continue without you. Granted, there’s nothing wrong with that but I don’t want to get to a point where I no longer know how to live a life that includes loving someone other than myself.

So the real question is: how do you live the single life without getting rusty with your relationship skills? I’d like to propose [seriously] dating. I go on dates but none of them are serious to the point it’s a constant thing. Seriously dating keeps one foot in the relationship door and one foot out into the single world. If you’re out getting to know people, doing cute/romantic stuff, and constantly being reminded how it feels to have someone outside of your family care about you, you won’t be totally lost when the universe decides that it’s time for you to be in a relationship again.

Focus on yourself, become a better person, and all of the other great things that people tell us will happen when we choose to be alone. However, if you’re currently looking and Jennifer’s list applies to you, it’s not because you’ve been single too long – it’s because being single has made you emotionally unavailable. However, all you’d have to do now is learn the importance of being open: open to meeting new people, open to finding new love, and opening up to your partner after being closed off for so long.

To read the original post on Elite Daily, click here!


Thanks for reading!

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4 Comment

  1. Reply
    mika725
    April 13, 2016 at 10:30 pm

    I see this becoming a problem in my near future lol. But Me personally, I just don’t have the urge to go on dates and when I do I feel annoyed bc I’m forcing myself to do it so I won’t get rusty. Pray for me lol

  2. Reply
    LaQuita
    July 21, 2016 at 9:22 am

    OMG this is me! I say I’m going to open myself up to dating but then I don’t feel like being open for that brief time. I guess I need prayer too. After reading this I see I’am becoming used to being single. I’m getting anxiety now just by thinking about opening up to anybody. Lol.

  3. Reply
    Crystal
    January 19, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    Sis, I feel like this post was a reaaaaaad directed straight at me honey.
    I often get told I’m “too independent” as well. This post opened my eyes a lot.

    My question to you is: How does one start dating? Especially for someone who hasn’t dated in a loooooooong time.

    Thanks
    -Your New Subscriber!

  4. Reply
    Sam
    January 31, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    This was so interesting because I didn’t have of these issues with getting with my current boyfriend after being single for over three years. I think it depends on the situation and the type of people coming together.

    S .x ramblingsofayoungprgirl.blogspot.com

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