We all know that breaking up is hard to do, but the best way to deal is to focus on YOU. Being single is a beautiful thing because it gives you time to reflect and get to know yourself more. Forget the tissues, ice cream, movies, and even Drake lyrics because I’ve listed 5 changes you can make that will help you move on successfully:
Create new personal goals
When you become too attached to someone, you start to build your life around them. Being newly single means it will take time to get to know yourself again. Have some quiet time to think about what you want for yourself and develop a goal list with time intervals. Create goals for 2 weeks, 1-month, 3-months, 6-months, 1-year, 3-years, 5-years, and even 10-year goals if you want to plan that far ahead. When you envision a life without your ex-lover in it, it will be easier to accomplish those goals for YOUR benefit.
Develop a new routine
Being in a relationship tends to make people feel comfortable with the same old day-to-day routine. Developing a new routine for yourself is crucial for moving on. Start working out, eating right, reading, practicing yoga, and other things that will restore you mentally, physically, and emotionally. Do anything you can to stay busy and keep your mind off the one you used to be with. Eventually, it won’t be just keeping busy anymore, it’ll just be the new and improved you!
Take new risks
Now that you are single, you will have the freedom to do what you want when you want. Start testing the waters of life, and don’t be afraid to take a dive on the deep end! This could mean getting back out there in the dating field or it could be taking that huge leap that you’ve always talked yourself out of. Explore and bring yourself excitement…
Develop new pampering methods
When I say pamper yourself, I don’t just mean getting your nails and hair done. To pamper yourself is to do activities that bring you joy and happiness. This could mean expressing yourself through art by going to a BYOB painting classes, or by dusting off your old poetry book. You have the freedom to do all the things that your ex didn’t want to do with you or that you guys never got to do together. Start putting yourself and what you want first. Only then can you become a better person for you and everyone else in your life.
Change how you see your ex
If you do all of the above tips and you still can’t get your mind off your ex, then you have been suffering from amnesia. You have to remember why the two of you aren’t together to begin with. You have to remember how the relationship made you feel (this is why it is good to keep journals). When going through a breakup, you may just have to think about the bad times to get you through it. Remember that everything happens for a reason, and you have a totally new journey ahead of you.
Hopefully, these tips will help you build a better life for yourself. Don’t be down in the dumps, even if you got dumped. Know that you are whole, whether you have someone by your side or not. In order for your ex to see you as “the one that got away”, you have to get away and do for yourself! Good luck.
Shauna Respass is a Life in a Pile contributor who believes in “giving the people what they need and uplifting [them] while chasing dreams.”