When friendships get weird due to one catching feelings for the other, it gets a little complicated to stay friends. Could a relationship really work between you two? There’s probably a lot of pressure to consider one right now but before you make the decision, make sure you guys aren’t better off as friends. Here are some signs the crush on your friend isn’t worth the friendship:
You can happily picture them with someone else.
The thought of them with another person doesn’t phase you. Matter of fact, them being happy with someone kind of excites you. If you can still picture them with someone other than you then your feelings aren’t as strong as you think; therefore, they’re not worth acting upon.
No cute words are exchanged.
If they call you “bestie” and “bro/sis” instead of a loving pet name, or doesn’t show you love through their words from time to time then keep it friendly. If they wanted to be more than friends, they would start to show it.
It’s not weird to talk about other people.
If you can openly talk about other people to them and vice versa, that is usually an indicator of where both parties heads are at. If either of you really wanted a relationship, you both would be very uncomfortable hearing and talking about someone else.
Canceling on each other isn’t a big deal.
When you’re just friends, canceling a movie night is no big deal. However, when you have feelings for someone, it might not be as easy to cancel on that person. For couples or people who are dating, not being able to do movie night is a big deal and usually requires a damn good reason!
Do you miss them when you spend time apart?
Before you say yes, think about how long it takes you to miss them. Couples can’t go that long without worrying about each other. Can you stand to be apart from them? If so, it is because you don’t tend to worry about your friends unless they give you a reason to. If you’re not more worried than usual when you haven’t heard from them in a few days, the small crush isn’t worth the friendship.
How does your friend treat other people?
If they are really flirty around everyone they come across and that makes you uncomfortable, that might be a red flag if you were to pursue dating your friend. If it bothers you more than it should as just a friend, it might not be worth it to try to take it a step further.
You usually hang out with a group versus one-on-one.
That is perfectly fine if you would rather hang out with more people than just them. It just means you aren’t as close. However, if there’s no real bond outside of the group, maybe it wouldn’t be a good idea to start pursuing each other.
You guys are in two different chapters in your lives.
You’re busy building your empire, he’s busy with grad school. Maybe it isn’t time for a relationship. You may not be emotionally or mentally ready to tackle the whole “dating your best friend” thing and that’s ok. Your friend may not be ready for something serious between you two either. Whatever the case may be, both just means none of your feelings right now are worth possibly ruining a friendship.
Lexanna Sims is a Life in a Pile contributor and Midwestern bookworm who can jam to everything on the radio.