In my experiences with love, I’ve learned that there are four types of women every man will meet when trying to find the one. These four women will have an impact on how he views love and relationships and will contribute to his journey from a boy to a man. In more ways than one, I’ve either loved, still love, or once loved these four types of women at some point in life. I call them the fantastic four:
The Game Changer
Sometimes we go through breakups that change us in a good or bad way. For about four years, every woman I became involved with unknowingly or knowingly paid for a bad break-up from my past. After a while I had to look in the mirror and realize I was the one at fault. How could I continue to blame my ex when she simply made a decision that was best for her? In my younger years, I’d be the typical male and say, “she was the one who made me realize women ain’t sh*t!” until I accepted that we were both young and life happens. I foolishly blamed her for whatever shortcomings I had in any relationships or dating situations I came across after her but the reality is, this woman taught me a lot about myself and changed everything I’ve thought about women.
If we all had time machines, I’m sure there’s a relationship we’d go back to and rearrange some things. Yes, things happen for a reason but a part of you may sometimes think, “Damn what if…” or “If I had another chance…” I consider these situations incomplete breakups; you can’t really pinpoint the exact reason why the two of you ended it. My experience can best be defined as “the right girl at the wrong time.” Whether it ended because we were too young to know how to deal with it or simply just on two different paths, she is the woman who I wouldn’t mind picking up where I left off. However, we’ve moved on; her in a relationship and me writing this blog but she represents a moment in time that I’d go back to if I could.
A unicorn is the one person you’ve always wanted but never got due to bad timing, rejection, or just never stepping up to the plate. Sometimes you just think to yourself “damn I want her but I don’t know.” I’ve had a few “unicorn” women but one stood out amongst the rest. I’ve known my unicorn about 15 years – more than half of the time I’ve been on this earth. She’s like a unicorn yet forbidden fruit at the same time because although I’ve wanted her, deep down inside I know it may or may not be good for me; like Kanye said, “dessert or disaster.” You find yourself worrying about them but you try to pull back because you don’t want to put out more than you’re getting yet you still end up doing so. We’ve had many hypothetical conversations about if it would work but the result is always the same: it would mess up the friendship. For now she’ll always be looked at as the trophy I could never win, the game winning shot I missed, the villain I could never defeat.
Last but certainly not least is the hidden gem. A hidden gem to me is best described as a person you should’ve been paying more attention to instead of focusing on others; instead of entertaining people who weren’t good for you, this is the person you should’ve been putting your efforts towards. My hidden gem was someone I befriended in college a few yrs back. Meeting up in the library turned into texting. Texting turned into phone conversations. After a while it became clear that we had feelings for each other. Physically she was different in comparison to the type of women I’d usually be involved with but we still had a connection. She understood me more than any woman ever has with the exception of my mother. By the time we admitted to having feelings for each other, it was too late because we were both in relationships. I knew she was into me but I became oblivious to it and focused my attention on other women instead. It wasn’t until years and her wedding later that I realized the time wasted chasing other women should’ve been used working on a relationship with her.
Syp Rodgers believes that you should do something dope in between living and dying.