While I was in college, I was in an LDR with a man who was worth driving 6+ hours for. Not wanting to share a XL twin bed or make him spend his weekends in a dorm that needed to be renovated, I always offered to be the one to make the trip. After months of traveling every weekend, he wanted to celebrate my 22nd birthday in a place we’ve never been. He came up with the idea to drive to the town that was halfway to D.C for him and halfway to Upstate NY for me. Neither of us had ever heard of it but we were always down for each other’s crazy suggestions, especially if it involved a baecation. For Valentine’s Day, he drove the six hours that lied between us to pick me up and continue another ten hours to Atlanta. He had never been to my hometown and I was having a casting call there that weekend so we knocked out two birds with one stone. For my graduation, he drove to D.C again. This time to watch me walk across the stage and pack up me and my belongings. We broke up shortly after. Deciding to chase my dreams rather than my relationship, I moved to Atlanta. However, I’d still visit him and he’d still be out front to pick me up. On one visit, I decided to fly into Cleveland rather than NY. Always down to come get me even if it required a road trip, he drove 4 1/2 hours to the Cleveland airport. When I saw the snow on the roads, I knew he was worth all the miles I had put on my car back in college.
Here’s How Our Road Trips Made Me A Better Lover
They taught me appreciation.
I arrived to the small town in Pennsylvania before my boyfriend and my brat levels were at an all-time high. Spoiled as hell on top of being the birthday girl, I was bossier than usual. “How did you leave before me and I made it here before you?!” Yelling into the phone like the Blacc Chyna meme, I was annoyed that he had me waiting when I should have been appreciative that he was trying to make sure I had the best birthday a girl could ask for. I quickly checked myself and my attitude. After all, it was the best birthday a girl could ask for.
They taught me patience + understanding.
I landed in Cleveland in the middle of winter. With snow on the roads and freezing rain, the man I put my dreams over was still on his way to pick me up from the airport and take me to NY. One hour went by. Two hours went by. Three hours turned into five. Five hours turned into six. I was seeing red and I’m sure I had smoke coming out of my fucking ears. He wasn’t answering the phone. He wasn’t calling me back. I called my auntie to calm me down. She told me to take a deep breath, remember that men are dumb and be patient. Then he called. Blacc Chyna meme x10. Did I ask if he was lost? Nope. Did I ask if he was okay? Nope. He later told me that he fell asleep behind the wheel because he didn’t get any sleep the night before. The police and a slide in the snow later, he made it to the airport to pick me up. As we drove 4 1/2 hours back to NY, I felt small for allowing myself to be impatient to the point I didn’t even consider his wellbeing.
They taught me the importance of communication + partnership.
During the last semester of college, I was back and forth from D.C to Atlanta because I was putting my first fashion show together. Exhausted as hell, I drove ten hours back to D.C to meet my boyfriend so he could help me clean out my dorm. Realistically, I was way too exhausted to drive ten hours by myself but I didn’t want to tell him that. I didn’t want to tell him that I hadn’t slept because I was up planning the show. I didn’t want to tell him that I would be late because I was damn near delirious. So I didn’t tell him anything. I pulled over at a rest stop, left my car on and turned my ringer off. I knew he’d be worried but I was too damn tired to care. However, my nap didn’t last for more than ten minutes because I felt bad for not letting him know where I was and that I was okay.
They made me thankful for support.
It was Valentine’s Day weekend in Atlanta but I had so much work to do for my fashion show. I had to go to two casting calls to choose my models, get my judges together, meet with the managers of the venue, meet my designers and make sure babe’s first trip to Atlanta was a success. We loaded up his car with all of our gifts – sneakers, life-size teddy bears, puffer jackets, etc. and headed to my hometown. When we arrived, the managers of the venue were nowhere to be found, we had to change the venue for the casting call because it was locked and only two of my judges showed up. I was one stressed boss babe and my boyfriend could tell from the driver’s seat. Reassuring me that everything would work out, he made sure of it once we arrived. From holding one casting call down while I went to the other to filling in for a judge that didn’t come, he was super supportive of everything I did and made sure to show me that he had my back.
All of our road trips taught me key things about being a good partner and being in a healthy relationship. I used to treat my relationships very one-sided – everything was about me and MY feelings only. Taking trips with someone whose strengths were my weaknesses, I learned to grow out of that and look at my mate as my equal. Whether it’s in the form of support or appreciation, I learned that we both deserve to feel that in a relationship.
Thanks for reading!