Can I Get A Uh…#69, please?


No, she didn’t want a relationship. She didn’t want to be in love & the word heartbreak was starting to get under her skin. She was drained from all the fighting she was doing to make relationships work. She wanted to be free from the feelings and the strings and live a little with no regrets but the way society is set up…she became a slave to the possible judgment of others. After her first real heartbreak, a relationship was the last thing on her mind but sex wasn’t. A guy being no good no longer concerned her because she wasn’t trying to be with him anyway. It was more of if he was as good as he looked in bed that pulled at her thoughts. I’ve come to the conclusion that society is a heartbroken man seeking revenge on his cheating wife. There’s no way that everything normal for a man comes with a label for a woman. I’m human. He’s human. He has needs, I don’t – it’s unladylike. In 2014? Damn you could’ve at least passed me a damn skirt that went pass my ankles and gave me a french braid to go with these old ass standards. The other day, I was actually thinking something was wrong with me because I couldn’t like anyone for more than three days. The problem wasn’t me, the problem was no guys were giving me a real reason to like them for more than three days. So I started categorizing them like most men do us: Well he’s not boyfriend material, but he probably fucks good. Well he’s kinda corny so he probably doesn’t fuck good, I’ll just text him when I’m bored. Well he might actually make a good boyfriend so I don’t even want to fuck him yet. Mind you, I can’t remember the last time I’ve had sex between work, class, wishing on a star me & my ex would work and pledging… so at this point – I just want to have sex.

sex postWhy do I HAVE to want a relationship? because God said let there be a vagina instead of a penis? I’ve literally been the girl big on relationships, love, and feelings and heartbreaks for as long as I could remember and quite frankly it’s draining. HAS NO ONE REALIZED THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD AS FUCK? You know why most girls waste so much time trying to turn an aint shit guy into the perfect boyfriend? Because 1. dicktoobomb or 2. she’s 99% sure the dick would be too bomb & society has made it clear that you’re a hoe if you’re getting that toobomb without being in a relationship. You know why most girls aren’t so blatant with their sex life? Because society made life too damn serious. They said: you actually WANT to fuck him? you’re a hoe. You actually DON’T want a relationship? you’re a hoe. You’re actually tweeting about something regarding sex? YOU DAMN WHORE! Lmao like… relax. Me not being ready for or even wanting a relationship right now does not stop my vagina from reminding me I haven’t had sex. I’m not big on sex anyway because – well…I’m still the girl big on love BUT again….she reminds me sometimes & I have to tell her to keep calm because society said sex was a luxury only offered to women in relationships & men.


There’s the girls that society has molded into reserved, relationship-only, be-a-good-girl girls, then there’s the rebels with the rocket self-esteem that will fuck even your man and not feel the least bad about it. So here’s the problem – the latter is so rare that I just referred to them as rebels for being as human as the next man. Most guys 25 and under usually aren’t relationship material yet but that won’t stop them from perfecting their stroke, now will it? Then they wonder why women their age only have like 1-2 good tricks. Because on the low, they all became nuns & they’re scared to be judged. Most women over 25 have a more realistic look on life. They’ve already experienced that first real heartbreak & realized the kind of pain they’re capable of feeling from the opposite sex. They observe more. categorize more. stopped seeing the good in absolutely everyone and take it for what it is. If he’s only good for sex, then that’s when she call him. That’s just what it becomes & honestly there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that if you’re still happy with yourself at the end of the day. Matter of fact, there’s nothing wrong with anything you do if you still feel like the baddest of them all the next morning. Twitter has this thing called the “hoe phase” that I have yet to experience but think is necessary for every woman. Plot twist: there’s no such thing as a hoe. So this phase simply means she’s just confident enough to do what the fuck she wants to do and not even think twice about what would be said about her. You mean to tell me that’s only a phase?


This isn’t a ‘whatever he does, I can do. I’m a feminist” post. This is more of a womanist post. As a WOMAN, don’t deny yourself ANYTHING you ever fucking want in fear of being judged, being labeled, or staying single. Confidence outweighs EVERYTHING. If you confidently own what you do, how and why you do it, who’s gonna argue with you? If anything, they will envy you for having bigger balls than the man trying to down you. Any REAL man can spot a good woman, no matter if she’s sexually liberated or not. & a good woman is going to be a good fucking woman no matter if she’s sexually liberated or not. All she need is REAL confidence, a good sex game, & to remain true to herself at all times to make this successful. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME if your confidence depends on how many likes you get on IG or if he texts you back or not. If you need a man to make you feel happy I wouldn’t suggest the whole sex with no relationship thing because you won’t be able to look yourself in the mirror the next morning. I always wanted to be like the girls who had the heart of a man and the confidence of Nicki. I always wondered how they could just have sex with a man and not give one fuck if he calls the next day. Then I became this confident ass woman who knew that no man could ever make nor break her.

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  1. […] on the phone. These are the women I mentioned in my post, Can I Get An Uhh…#69 Please? (Read here). This list is especially funny to me because when you look up something like, ‘how do you […]

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