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Mr. Nice Guy: 4 Signs He’s a Good Guy But Not Good For You

People don’t realize that there’s a difference between being A good guy and being THE [good] guy for her. 

You never know what she needs in a relationship and taking someone to their full potential requires more than love letters and flowers. Below are four reasons you shouldn’t settle just because he’s a little nicer than the others:

Photo of stylish man in elegant black suit

What he does for you, he does for everyone else.

A true gentlemen doesn’t pick and choose who he wants to be a gentlemen with; however, there are things that he should only do for the girl he wants to be with. In A Bunch Of Lovers Who Don’t Know How To Love, I explained that in order to love correctly you must learn your partner and love them in a way that caters to who they are individually. A man that gives you the same treatment as he gives every other girl is a man that hasn’t taken the time to figure out who you are and what you need to become the woman you’re destined to be.

He’s only been in one real relationship.

Is he really a nice guy or is he the “I’m-the-nice-guy-that-no-girls-give-a-chance-to-because-they’re-all-villians-and-I’m-the-victim” kind of nice guy? If he’s so great, why isn’t his hotline blinging? Why girls aint calling him on his cellphone telling him they need his love? He could be a good guy just with a lot of issues. You want to be a gf, not a full time therapist. Let him go figure some things out first then maybe try again.

He gave you every reason to like him and you still don’t.

Sometimes it’s just not there. The connection isnt there. The chemistry isnt there. It doesn’t mean he’s not a good guy and it doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself for not being able to fall for the nice guy. Simply means he’s not the one, and that’s okay.

Parts of him doesn’t bring out parts of you.

The good AND the bad times in a relationship are what helps a person grow. What’s the point in being with someone who believes they’re the “perfect” boyfriend and will never make mistakes? What will you learn from the times your relationship went to shit? What’s the point if his flaws doesn’t teach you things about yourself? People are placed in our lives for two reasons: to learn from us and to teach us. Because we’re all still growing, you don’t want someone who claims to already be the full package.


There are a lot of Mr. Nice Guys who try to use this title to play the victim and make you feel like you don’t know your worth because you won’t fall for him. I listed 4 valid reasons why it’s perfectly okay to not want to reply to his texts or hangout. What he’s doing for you isn’t special, he may come with a lot of issues, the chemistry just isn’t there, and he can’t make you better are all things you should consider the next time a self-proclaimed “nice” guy tries to make you feel bad for choosing someone else.

Thanks for reading!

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1 Comment

  1. Reply
    Ashley E.
    October 26, 2015 at 6:53 am

    Your post pretty much summarized my last relationship! Lol I’m always saying a good person doesn’t make them the right person. I gave my ex a chance because he was the stereotypical gentleman (sending flowers to my job, opening doors, paying for everything, hell he even sent my mom flowers). The reality was that the chemistry wasn’t there. I felt like he didn’t really know me and he was more caught up on what i looked like on paper versus who i really was. It got to a point where he was telling me he loved me and i was still in the “i kinda like you” stage. And i think he was the type that fell fast because he told me loved several of his exes. Not to mention he was engaged before and was going to propose to another ex but they broke up before he got a chance. I honestly wasn’t really happy with him and i felt like he didn’t bring out the best in me. You can’t force something that’s not there.

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