Blog Reviews

Naked Pain: Becoming a Big Dawg – Review


It took me a little while to finish up this blog review because Vicki really allowed herself to be completely naked with her readers and I wanted to be just as naked with its review. I consider Life in a Pile a very genuine, authentic site and I absolutely love when I stumble across other blogs that are similar to mine. There are some bloggers who have no problem acknowledging the fact that life is very REAL. A lot more real than the latest trends and underground artists. We acknowledge that people are dealing with real demons everyday and don’t have a problem sharing stories about our own. People appreciate that. People find support and hope in that. People find themselves in that.

The owner of (no typos), Vicki Alexis, taught us how to fight through life’s troubles to get to life’s lessons. When you own what you’ve been through, face your fears and conquer them, you become the big dawg. You become a soldier. You become a survivor. As many of my readers know or can tell through my writing – I’ve gotten through some pretty terrible shit. 4 years and genuine happiness later, people’s mouths still drop and they automatically offer their sympathy when I tell them I survived something by mother and siblings didn’t. What people don’t know is when you survive something as tragic as I did, you’re still not a survivor until you survive the aftermath of it. Vicki shared that she was raped when she was in college but the rape isn’t what hurt her, things from the aftermath did. Like being called damaged goods. The stab wounds never hurt me. I didn’t feel them. What hurt me was the loneliness. What hurt me was the fact that my anger about it fucked up relationships that meant the world to me. What hurt me was the fact I’ll die trying to fill a void. What hurt me was I no longer belonged to anyone in the world. I’m no one’s daughter or sister (I have my dad, btw. But that’s another post for another day). I’ll never be anyone’s auntie. My kids will never have a grandmother. I mean, I can try to fill the void with relationships with close friends but to me, it’ll never be the same.

I appreciate this blog and others like it because it gives me an opportunity to continue to heal. It gives me an opportunity to always remain honest with who I am, where I come from, and where I’m headed.

Vicki also mentioned that many people run from their pain. They act out of character, or simply just take on the character of someone else. If you want to know if someone is hurting internally, see if they go out of their way to hurt others. There’s no such thing as a hurt person not hurting someone else. Internalized pain will find its way out. No matter how tight you put the lid on it. It will come out every opportunity it gets. Thanks to Vicki, she gave us some steps towards healing and it begins with identifying your pain.

  1. Recognize your pain.
  2. Learn and accept the life lesson.
  3. Forgive the culprit.
  4. Find your mission.
  5. Forgive yourself.

I believe the order should be 1, 2, 5, 3, 4; that’s how I’ve made progress with my healing but if this worked for Vicki then just do what is best for you! Good luck on your journey!

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Thanks for reading!


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1 Comment

  1. Reply
    A Dope Luxury
    October 8, 2015 at 8:19 pm

    Reblogged this on An Aesthetic of Dope Luxury.

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