He knows when you really love yourself and he knows when you’re full of shit. He knows when what you’re demanding is a reflection of what your standards really are and he knows when you’re just telling him how you THINK things are supposed to be. He smells you, and it doesn’t take long to figure out if it’s the real deal or the knockoff. After one conversation, he will know if he has to bring his A-game or if you’ll be down for all of them. It’s important that your words match your actions. If you say, “don’t ever refer to me as your b*tch” but when he’s telling you a story that starts with, “man, this bitch talking about some…” and you start laughing instead of checking him then you’re sending mixed signals. If you really believe the B-word is degrading then you will believe it’s degrading to not only you but to other women as well. Laughing instead of checking him shows that you’re full of shit when it comes to the standards you’re requiring. Actions are better than words, ma.
One thing I’ve learned is that there’s 3 things a man loves with all his heart: sex, food, and a woman who does not need his ass.
There’s nothing he loves more than a woman who allows him in her life simply because she WANTS him there. Not because she’s trying to find someone to “complete” her. Not because she’s trying to fall in love with herself through him. Not because she needs him. No matter how often guys tweet how they need a girl with a fat ass, perky tits, and a crazy head game, at the end of the day all they want is a woman who loves the hell out of herself enough to not keep taking him back when he cheats on her. Not keep answering the phone when he keeps walking in and out of her life. Not keep allowing him to Netflix and chill everyday. All he want is a woman who loves herself more than the idea of being in love with him.
The thing about the typical “good” girl is that she comes off as weak. She goes out of her way to prove to him that she’s one of the good ones and tries to make him appreciate her. Fun fact: guys know if you’re a good girl within the first 3 days of knowing you; you don’t have to keep announcing it, ladies. The typical “good” girl will bring up all of the times she forgave him for his shit. All the times she held him down when his credit was so trash he couldn’t even get a credit card. All the times she held his hand through life’s troubles. All the times she prayed for him. All the times she bought his mama gifts on holidays. Blah blah blah. Shit that does not make the average man jump through hoops. Shit that the average man doesnt really care about. He might understand that she loves him but he knows she doesn’t have an ounce of power. Don’t be fooled, men love powerful women.
For some reason, society has conditioned us to think that a woman must be a hoe if she doesn’t chase after a man, but what they fail to tell us is men love these kind of women. If he meets a woman that acts like she doesn’t give one fuck about him, he falls hard. But let society tell it, if she’s not somewhere getting high on the idea of love or losing sleep over a man who’s shown her every single red flag there is, she’s most likely out here fucking everything and that’s why she’s so “emotionally unattached.” How dumb is that? Of course Im going to be emotionally unattached to some shit that’s not worth investing my emotions into. If I’m a hoe because I refuse to just give my power away then so be it. If I’m a hoe because I don’t have to announce that I’m single every 4 hours on Twitter then so be it. If I’m a hoe because I don’t have to announce that I’m “annoying because I’m loyal” then so…fucking…be it. I don’t have to auction myself to the highest bidder to get a man. In all honesty, I don’t have to do one single thing for a man to know he has a woman worth keeping. “Im amazing, and you see it. If you wan’t to act like you don’t then I will replace you with someone who does.” That’s power. That’s self-love. That’s “I fuck with me and I don’t give a damn who don’t.” and guess what? Men love the smell of it.
STAY OUT OF THE DATING FIELD IF YOUR SELF LOVE IS A KNOCKOFF. If your self-love is equivalent to the fake ass designer belts up and coming rappers wear then you have no business looking for a relationship. You will become prey. You will become something to do. Stressing you out and getting you mad will become fun to him. You claiming to be done every 3 days after you sent long paragraphs will become routine. I’ve been there and never felt more powerless. Eventually it became a game of, “I have to prove to him Im not weak and I mean what I say.” But I lost every time because I was still loving him more than I loved myself. I took myself out of the dating field, fell in love with who I am, and now I’ve been picking and choosing which dates I want to go on when the weekend rolls around.
Thanks for reading!