“I’m not arguing with anyone I can’t have make-up sex with.” That’s all it took to shut me up when I was arguing with my ex. We were no longer together so the chances of us having sex afterwards were slim to none. “You know what? You’re right.” I don’t even remember what the argument was about or how it turned into one in the first place. But knowing that it wouldn’t lead to the confirmation that I’m still loved and that my relationship isn’t in danger was enough to stop being angry. The only thing it did confirm was that we were no longer connected in ways that couples who do have make-up sex are.
Here’s the truth about couples who f*ck after an argument:
Their relationship is more important than the problem.
Couples who have make-up sex understand the importance of making up sooner rather than later. They usually don’t go to sleep mad; in fact, they’re probably the kind of couple who refuse to go to sleep until they’re on the same page. Even if the problem isn’t solved, couples who f*ck after an argument make sure that both people in the relationship know that they’re more important than what they’re arguing about.
They’re connected emotionally.
We experience a range of emotions when we’re beefing with our partner. Between the intense anger and frustration, having sex is usually the last thing we want to do. But for couples who are in healthy relationships, make-up sex is usually a sign that they’re in tune emotionally. It takes intimacy and passion to still desire your partner right after an argument.
They know how to speak each other’s love language.
Make-up sex can only happen after the couple has reached some sort of solution. Otherwise, it’s just a band-aid. Even if the solution is to agree to disagree, you have to know your partner’s love language in order to get through to him/her in a way that it will be received AND feel fair. Sometimes reassurance will be enough. Sometimes “I love you” will be enough. Sometimes a hug will be enough. Whatever the language, couples who have make-up sex know how and when to speak it. They know exactly what to do to end the argument and start the love-making.
Thanks for reading!