How much longer is this pity party supposed to last? My feet are on fire, my edges are sweated out, and I would’ve slayed in that damn red dress but the invitation said all black to fit your mood. You’ve had one too many drinks and you’re crying every 5 minutes in the bathroom. Misery loves company but I swear this is my last time attending your fucking pity party. These parties are becoming too frequent and too predictable. The DJ plays the same sad, slow songs and I’m getting drunk off wine rather than my usual Henny or Honey Jack. When are you going to ask me to help you celebrate your happiness? When are you going to stop crying victim and claim victory? Does it make me a bad friend to want to hear more solutions than problems sometimes? How are you going to force me to come to your pity party once a week when there’s no goodie bags? No bags filled with what you’ll do different this time. No bags filled with faith and optimism. No bags filled with good news. I’m telling you ahead of time that I won’t be attending the next one.
Why are you always prey to the world? You let the world chew you up and spit you out and all you do is run to a corner and hide your face. Why don’t you ever fight back or at least show that you’re willing to? Why don’t you do something different this time like be strong enough to cut people off who hurt you and bruise you? Why don’t you do something different this time like say fuck that job that makes you unhappy and create your own shit? You hit rock bottom and decided to stay there.
Give yourself 3 days or 3 weeks but when the last day come make sure the DJ at your pity party is telling everyone, “you don’t have to go home but you gotta get the hell out of here” instead of telling us guys get in free before 11 at the next one. So what’s it about this time, anyway? He stopped answering your calls and texts? She got with the guy she told you not to worry about? You haven’t “made it” yet? People keep confirming why you have trust issues? What is it now? Is it anything you can’t get over with faith in God and yourself? No. Is it something that time cannot heal? No. Healing takes time but you have all the time in the world.
For some reason, we always think the end is really the end. The end of relationships cause us to ask, “who else am I going to be in a relationship with?” The end of jobs cause us to ask, “where else am I going to find these same benefits?” The end of friendships cause us to ask, “who else is going to be there?” Do you really think God would end something that would end you? If you needed it & couldn’t live without it, it would have a permanent spot in your life. If you’ve done all you could and it’s still taken away from you, it’s because your standards for yourself are clearly too low for God’s liking and He’s about to give you what you should’ve been aiming for. Plot twist: your standards for yourself are always going to be too low compared to God’s standard’s for you so He’s always going to be shuffling your life around, taking away what no longer serves you and giving you new things. Don’t get too comfortable.
Strength doesn’t always come naturally; if it did, the millions of people who pray for it daily wouldn’t be praying for it daily. People literally beg God to help them get through situations. However, you have to truly believe that you’re totally capable of getting through. God is doing all the work if you ask Him to make you stronger when you don’t even really believe you’ll ever be strong enough. Prayer without faith is just you saying hi to God and asking Him how His day went. Whatever your situation may be or whatever you feel is breaking you down right now, it was already set to happen before you were even born; it’s all about molding you into the person you’re destined to be. If you get too caught up on being defeated, you’ll miss out on the real blessing – growth. So no, I can’t continue to attend your pity party because it’s a clear sign that you’re not growing. I can’t continue to attend your pity party because it’s a clear sign that you’re not learning. I can’t continue to attend your pity party because it’s a clear sign that you’re just asking God about His day instead of telling Him you really need Him right now. Next week, don’t bother calling me unless I get to take a bag filled with some positivity home when I leave.
Thanks for reading!