I’ve been the unemployed, risk-taking, dream-chasing graduate for almost a year now. Before I became the risk-taking dream chaser, I was on the safe route. Not because I thought I wasn’t capable of being more than just good, but because I was more focused on doing the things that sounded nice to my family and society. I used to be so proud when I told people my plans but now when I look back at them, what the fuck was so great about them? It was the typical “graduate then get a good job” route. No passion. No fire in my gut needed. Today? I would cry everyday if I ever had to get a “real” job again because “real” jobs never brought me real joy.
Notice that I didn’t say money, an incomplete business plan, your imaginary ass haters, or your situation because it’s deeper than that. You’re the only thing standing between you and your popping ass life so I’m going to tell you 8 ways to help you get over your fear of doing more and being more:
Decide – The first and most important thing you have to do is decide what you want for yourself. If you have to sit and write it down, tell yourself aloud, or discuss it with your circle then do it. Just know that when you’re done, you must have a solid decision in mind that you’re going to be working towards from this point forward. You should know how you want the rest of your life to look. You should know what you want to change about the world. You should know what you DON’T want and how you’re going to avoid it at all costs.
Surround yourself with reflections of you – you should see yourself in every single person around you. When you put your circle together, it should make up who you are as a whole or it should make up the person you’re aiming to be. If you have people around you who don’t think, act, or move like you then you’re going to start thinking, acting, and/or moving like them. If they’re scared of being great, they’ll convince you that it’s something to be scared of too. Surround yourself with people whose thoughts, actions, and movements will only encourage, inspire, motivate, and elevate you.
Stop using your 9-5 as a cushion – I honestly believe that you cannot reach your full potential until you are focusing on yourself 110%. You cannot be great until you make it your only option. I haven’t gone back to a 9-5 because I want my dreams to become reality so bad that I’m 99.99% sure that I’d just be at work working on something for Life in a Pile. I would rather make $50 from something I created than receive $100 from a job I fucking dread. I wholeheartedly believe that you must become an unemployed worker. You can’t have a 9-5 and expect your dreams to come true in a timely fashion. I know some of you hate to hear that but you have to remember that
If you put those same 8 hours a day into your craft, you won’t need a 9-5. Granted, building something from the ground up will require more than 8 hours daily. However, if you decide to only put in the same amount of hours you put into a job, you’ll still be able to get your business off the ground. It would turn into “if I don’t work, I don’t eat” because you don’t have a 9-5 as a safety net. “But Candice, I have bills.” You also have SOMETHING that SOMEONE in the world can benefit from and PayPal works just fine. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this. You can’t walk in your destiny if you’re scared. Your destiny should scare you. It should make you feel uneasy, unsure, and uncomfortable because you don’t know if the shit is going to work. You have to believe in it enough to work on it even with only $75 to your name. You’ll just have to use your creativity to get whatever else you need. A self-made millionaire told me that!
Talk To God – I’m a pretty spiritual person. I like to know that God has my back no matter what. I’ve gotten so good at this spiritual thing that I can literally feel the energy of something that is for me versus something that’s not. Being the worker and not the boss is not for me. Dating the worker and not the boss is not for me. Forensic psychology, unfortunately, is not for me. Helping people is for me. Encouraging, inspiring, and motivating people is for me. Waking up whenever I feel like it is for me. Doing fun shit any day of the week because I make my own schedule is for me. I talk to God when I need clarity. I talk to Him when I need guidance. I talk to Him when I’m nervous about a new chapter. I talk to God a few times a day. My faith is what keeps me going because I know ultimately everything will work out.
Believe in yourself – this is pretty cliché but I know so many people who want to live a certain way and do certain things but change their minds the moment someone doesn’t agree with it. When I bought my camera for interviews and started doing photo shoots to practice my camera skills, people were like “umm, you’re a photographer now?” Of course it was shade until my pictures came out looking like I’ve been doing photography for years.
People’s comments didn’t bother me. I let my work speak for itself because I knew I would grab their attention at the end of the day. You don’t need anyone to believe in you when you genuinely believe in yourself. The only reason you’ll ever be scared is when you start to believe other people’s opinions about who you are and what you’re capable of more than your own.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable – you have to be willing to give it your all. You have to be willing to leave your comfort zone and jump! Without knowing if you’re going to land on your feet or on your face, you have to give it everything you have. If you have to sleep on someone’s couch for a month, go without cable for a year, spend shoe money on building your site, etc. then so be it. Do you know how much faith you have to have in yourself to be willing to sleep on someone’s couch until the glo up? Even if things don’t ever get that extreme for you, you have to be READY for anything when building from the ground up. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck doing average shit because you were always too scared to take a risk. Fuck how much money you think you need. Fuck if you get support from others or not. Fuck if you don’t want to be seen as “just another…” Fuck all of it and JUST BE GREAT! It’ll be the best decision you’ve ever made but first, you must decide that’s what you want for yourself.
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