Leave it to millennials to make up our own fucking rules. As always, we’ve created something new that ensures we don’t get near, think about, consider, breathe, or even smell a relationship. I don’t blame you, fellow millennials, because not only does love hurt but being in a relationship is just out of our budgets. With that being said, hellooooo half-night stands! That’s right, no more staying the entire night and cuddling with the person you don’t plan to talk to ever again after you guys hook-up. No more bringing her in close in your sleep and breathing heavily in her ear despite the fact you just met her a few hours ago and all you know is that she can’t dance. No more booty ru- wait, we’re going to have to talk about this millennials because I didn’t get to vote. Which one of you broken-hearted, newly heartless 20-somethings decided that you’re completely okay with leaving right after?! Will “where are my panties?” be replacing “what kind of movies do you like?” Will, “so what are you about to get into?” replace “do you need a t-shirt?” In Brittany Wong’s piece on Huffington Post, she expressed her dire need to wake up in her own bed to be able to race to her computer at 6 a.m if necessary. Celeste Hirschman, a Bay Area sex therapist, also believes in starting her day at her own home. “If you don’t want anything more than sex, what’s the point of staying overnight with a stranger?”I get it. However, the romantic in me who loves intimacy doesn’t; she loves being pulled in closer, readjusting the pillows so we’re both comfortable, being held tight, ear kisses, and the good morning text the following morning. I’m totally not against bringing my laptop to a dick appointment. I will wake up and write while you’re lying next to me naked and snoring. If it was supposed to be one-night, it’s now an entire day because you’re up cooking breakfast and I brought work with me. However, I do understand Celeste’s point in getting exactly what you came for and returning back to regularly scheduled programming – leave the feelings at the door next to your heels and your thong. Max Dubowy, a 26-year-old gay writer and life coach in Portland, Oregon is also a huge fan of half-night stands. Claiming that sex is “sort of like ice cream,” he’s completely fine with hookup culture because he doesn’t have a taste for the same flavor every night. According to him, sex is nothing more than an “activity” because millennials are able to “compartmentalize sex and love.” Not sure which millennials he’s referring to because most of us don’t have a lot of sex for that reason alone – we aren’t that great at separating the two so we don’t bother with either. However, whether some of us prefer the entire night, a few nights, or only half the night, it usually just ends with an Uber.
To read the full piece on Huffington Post, click here!
Do you prefer half-night stands? Why or why not?