People will always tell you that being single is a good thing because it gives you time to “focus on yourself” or to “become a better person.” What they don’t tell you is how easy it is to become so focused on yourself that you no longer know how to focus on anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, I love being single. I’ve been waking up and choosing to live this life every day for a few days short of a year now. However, I’m starting to think Jennifer was talking about me in her post on Elite Daily. According to her, you might be too used to the single life if any of the following applies to you:
- When you prefer to sleep alone.
- When it starts to bother you that he pays for everything.
- When you aren’t really happy about sharing your plans.
- When you’re annoyed that he leaves his stuff at your place.
- When you enjoy your alone time more than being with him.
- When you find it really hard to confide after a bad day.
And guess what? 5 out of 6 of these apply to me! It hasn’t even been a full year yet and I’ve already gotten too comfortable with being by myself. A few weeks ago, a man called me “too independent” and ever since, I’ve been wondering if that’s why this is the longest I’ve ever been alone. Between the time I graduated and now, I have become the epitome of an independent woman. If you tell me no then I just go get it on my own. If you take too long to give me an answer then I’ve already come up with a plan to continue without you. Granted, there’s nothing wrong with that but I don’t want to get to a point where I no longer know how to live a life that includes loving someone other than myself.
So the real question is: how do you live the single life without getting rusty with your relationship skills? I’d like to propose [seriously] dating. I go on dates but none of them are serious to the point it’s a constant thing. Seriously dating keeps one foot in the relationship door and one foot out into the single world. If you’re out getting to know people, doing cute/romantic stuff, and constantly being reminded how it feels to have someone outside of your family care about you, you won’t be totally lost when the universe decides that it’s time for you to be in a relationship again.
Focus on yourself, become a better person, and all of the other great things that people tell us will happen when we choose to be alone. However, if you’re currently looking and Jennifer’s list applies to you, it’s not because you’ve been single too long – it’s because being single has made you emotionally unavailable. However, all you’d have to do now is learn the importance of being open: open to meeting new people, open to finding new love, and opening up to your partner after being closed off for so long.
To read the original post on Elite Daily, click here!
Thanks for reading!